My Story

I've often given 'My Story' a lot of thought. What to include, what to leave out. Condensed or detailed. Long or short. More often than not, the answers to these questions are based on my audience. If I'm talking to a mother with small children, then 'My Story' tends to be more about my life as a mom, and it usually gets condensed into tiny digestible bites of information. If I'm talking to another artist, I'll tell more about my artistic style and interests, use more detail and likely go on and on. You get the idea. Well, when I decided to start another blog (crazy since I barely have enough time for the first one Feeding Angels), I decided I needed to write out 'My Story.' The more I tried to force it into some kind of readable format, it just seemed inadequate and awkward. The more I worked at it, the more awkward it sounded. Then after stumbling onto a video from Mars Hill Church about our stories in the light of God's story, I realized the details of my story really aren't that important.

What I heard:

God's earthly story began at creation with one man and one woman, and it will end when God's Kingdom is eternally established on the new earth. His story line, climax and conclusion are never at risk. Man has not done and can not do anything to put God's story at risk. He is in total control. His story will continue as it always has until resolution is reached.

Jesus is the hero. Satan is the villain. The problem lies in the redemption of people who have rebelled and fallen out of the story. They are now in bondage needing to be rescued and brought back into the story. The climax happened at the Cross and the empty tomb.

My story comes in as a scene in God's epic play. I have a walk on part with a few lines, but the part was made for me. The purpose of my scene is to tell God's redeeming story to the audience I've been given.

What I learned:

There are details of my life that I can use to help those struggling around me. Too often, however, I tend to focus on how I was able to persevere and come through my struggles, and I shift the focus as if it is my story I'm telling.

My story in a nutshell....

• I spent years in a struggling marriage and nearly divorced.
• My 4 year old son is autistic.
• I'm a stay at home mother of three with a great desire to contribute to society in a more tangible way.
• I'm a perfectionist who is never able to get things just right.

I could share details of what has happened in my life and what I've done to overcome the obstacles in my path (or whether or not I decided to sit down and have a picnic in the shade of those obstacles). But, my story looks very different when reworked as a scene in God's story.

My scene in a nutshell....

• God has spent years teaching me what covenant means, how to keep my vows even when it hurts. All to help me show my audience God NEVER gives up on us.
• God in His sovereignty gave my son an incurable condition so that His work might be displayed in him. So that my audience might through this work find healing and salvation.
• God has given me the awesome responsibility to train and care for my children 24/7. He's helping me see that the world's definition of contribution is very different from His, and that my children are my VIP audience.
• God gave me great talent and ability for creating order and smooth routines, for seeing and filling needs, for serving, but He wants a relationship with me over everything else. I can't do it all by myself, and I don't have to. My frustration comes when I become too self reliant and too focused on earthly details.When I focus on Him my audience is able to see His peace and power in me in the midst of chaos, and that nothing runs smoother than when He is in control.

 There's a big difference between those two lists, and I can honestly say there is an amazing freedom when we are truly able to rest in His ability to work everything out in the end. I don't need to be the hero of my scene. I certainly don't want to be the villain. The climax for my scene is the day I accepted Christ as my savior, and resolution for me will be the day I meet Him face to face. My part in this epic play is to tell God's story in my scene.

Whatever happens in my life, whether my marriage continues to heal, whether my son continues to develop exponentially, whether I fulfill my calling and somehow have the time and energy I need to accomplish all the tasks on my list, or if it all falls apart, I'll still get my happy ending. And, I know beyond all doubt I'll live happily ever after.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,

who according to His great mercy has caused us to be

born again to a living hope through the resurrection of

Jesus Christ from the dead, to obtain an inheritance

which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade

away, reserved in heaven for you who are protected by

the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to

be revealed in the last time."

1 Peter 1:3-5